June 20, 2011

• Come again?

  Mortality

  Where is my courage now
  when I need it more than ever
  I know I can’t keep up this act
  I’m really not that clever
  and reality is relentless
  because it’s now or never

  I have to be someone
  to qualify my existence
  I’ve fooled everyone up to now
  despite all their insistence
  and my will is surely fading fast
  for I have no more resistance

  I think, therefore, I must be
  no matter how hard I try
  to fade away to nothingness
  and, more or less, to die
  for most of my friends have passed away
  and I wonder, why haven’t I

  I am somewhat ashamed

  I don’t really care
  people talk, that’s what they do
  I tire of listening,
  it’s always something new
  or something old,
  borrowed or blue
  I can only focus on one
  maybe two… and you
  make the storm go away
  and keep my course true

  but then…

  you and your babies, your lovers and kin
  are all to compare with my own
  discover if everything I’ve gathered within
  is anything like I was shown
  so much more than a place to begin
  prevail, then apologize and atone
  for the absence of effort, no real need to win
  I miss what I’ve never truly known

  the better to trust you with

  a flashlight, torch or moonbeam…
  or just a candle is enough
  the darkness hides many wonderful things
  as well as some pretty bad stuff

  and I know it is there, my eyes take my word
  still they fret what they can’t prove
  but I’m sure enough to just let my eyes close
  and anticipate your next move

  Life is not a fantasy
  unless you don’t believe
  that people full of vanity
  are trying to deceive
  and break your concentration
  on focusing your lens
  to see the sublimation
  of their purely human sins
  for God hath writ this fairy tale
  “The Human Being Myth”
  and it isn’t if you pass or fail
  it’s who you do it with

  Mortified Heaven

  In the time it would take to enunciate
  all my petty worries and woes
  I could probably die and be born again
  and then see how that life goes

  But I’ve become attached to this plot I’ve hatched
  and it’s far from over yet
  there’s adequate time left to get it done right
  or at least decide what to forget

  Because all my mistakes have had what it takes
  to go off with a boom or a bust
  but nobody knows what I’m truly made of
  so there’s nobody I can trust

  I’ll pin all my hopes on how destiny copes
  with my manicured foibles and quirks
  and have faith in my fate to negotiate
  until I figure out how it all works

  I’m doing okay in a modest sort of way
  considering how I’ve abstained
  from doing any more than what needs to be done
  and make use of the freedom I’ve gained

  Now has come the time to let reason and rhyme
  substitute for ambition and schemes
  to enjoy my egress from undue duress
  and explore all the sundries of my dreams

  • 7:30 am
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