September 8, 2010
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contextuality
from lacy unlit nighttime play
recalled from passive passions spoke
unto fair lovelorn far away
for all I knew it was a joke
but no, my heart was stirring brisk
like whipping cream to fluff and air
enveloped in the safest risk
I dared not harm a single hair
upon the head I fancied fond
yet still delved softly into flesh
and did dare venture well beyond
until entangled in her mesh
and there I rested safe and warm
to mollify her false alarm
Comments (8)
I wanted to comment, but I now find my mind entirely blank of things to say.
False alarms are many, I think, though.
False alarms, everyday.
Sometiimes you write stuff that makes me wonder who in hell would be so special.. and then I think, oh.
This is sadly lovely, mister.
mmm..
The meter in this is fantastic – I am really impressed. I’ve listened to a lot of William Wordsworth read aloud – and this poem reminds me of those readings….I hear the voice of the reader, and the rhythms of the syllables when I read this to myself.
I love the alliteration in : recalled from passive passions spokeAnd the simile: like whipping cream to fluff and air
The poem also ends quite amazingly – there’s a lot of layers to this piece. I’m sorry I never commented much before – your work is truly inspirational.
“I dared not harm a single hair
upon the head I fancied fond”
that is quite a good self-control
i like the pictures your words paint in my mind. thank you
Dear Ben,
This is like one long sentence in rhyme. Favorite lines:
“I dared not harm a single hair
upon the head I fancied fond
yet still delved softly into flesh
and did dare venture well beyond”
I’ve written poetry most of my life, and I still cannot form rhymes as seemingly simple but so complex in their execution without staring at the computer screen for hours, and then mine still don’t measure up to yours. (But of course poets should really never compare now should they?)
Michael F.Nyiri, poet, philosopher, fool