August 23, 2010
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being here
it’s far too strange for opposites to attract
or a fiction to serve for a physical fact
and suspending disbelief is an everyday tact
to enjoy just a modicum of peacebut I swear it is easy to forgive and forget
the bygones have gone by and now I can let
a stupidity slide without becoming upset
when it’s not about me in the leastin this plane of existence, this space of divine
intelligent biology, surreal and sublime
immersed in a stagnant immutable time
it’s no wonder the wonders don’t ceaseand still we will squabble when conflicts arise
and pray that the heavens are more than just skies
not asking hard questions ’cause we can’t stand the lies
hoping fate will renew our life’s lease
Comments (7)
Wow. How this ends on the word lease within the concept of renewal and with such finality indeed gives pause to the idea of hope. Nice form. It scans without sounding like a hypnotic drum. Iddity bitty old stuff like “opposites (to) attract” don’t interfere much. Good exercise.
@POETIC_ISIS - thanky-you isis. I seldom get poetic critiques (except fron baldmike occasionally) because I’m usually more about the message. “old stuff” can be endlessly recycled and there’s a lot of pith to dig out yet. I prefer the lyrical, structured forms of poetry and that, in itself, is clichéd, so old stuff suits me fine… plus, they tell me a writer should write what he knows.
i find I tend to compensate the meter/rhythm in order to make the rhyme scheme work.
here you’ve tackled both so effortlessly!
Nicely done!
I especially like the line, “It’s no wonder the wonders don’t cease”
Things seem to be renewed, however, renewal is a fleeting process.
@daavidd - the new is often less than what it supersedes
@oceanstarr - thank-you kindly
@inspirasionz - thanks too. I scan when I can
One of the easiest things to do in poetry is to write rhyming poetry. One of the hardest things to do well is to write rhyming poetry. You managed to do it well. I like that the cadence of this piece doesn’t detract from the message of it. Somehow you managed to avoid the sing song lilting cadence that makes every poem sound like a nursery rhyme, and still write rhyming poetry. Good job